Witnessing Truth

What a year it has been, right?  Incalculable loss. Never ending uncertainty. Political turmoil. Economic collapse. Social isolation. And, a global pandemic.  As January drags on, I find myself continuously dwelling on all of it. And I find myself falling further and further into the gravitational pull of this black hole of worry, hopelessness, and despair. (My Seasonal Affective Disorder definitely doesn't help either).  Maybe you also find yourself struggling to break free of this chain of thought. Maybe you too are simply feeling weary and can't wait for it all to end. Maybe you feel like you just can't...period.  But, friends, we will rise up .  This is not the end. We are not out of gas. We are not on empty. Time and time again the human spirit has overcome the challenges the world has presented. Time and time again we've seen individuals overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Time and time again we have seen ourselves persevere through difficult time...

As the leaves start to change and Pumpkin Latte signs populate Starbucks windows, I like to always take a little time to grieve the passing of my favorite season - summer.  There is something about summer that I just positively love.  If you've met me in person, you have likely heard me go on and on and on about summer... I will spare you all.  As I say good bye to summer, I also am saying good bye to my little red tabletop charcoal grill.  Or at least saying, "See you later!"  (Mad props to all those charcoal grill masters who grill through Fall.  I raise my tongs to you.)  Memorial Day 2019 was my first attempt not just at using my little baby grill, but at using any  charcoal grill.  I had previously learned the art of grilling on a gas grill - spurred on by the need to make burgers for all my Mount friends during Senior Week down the Jersey shore (none of us knew how to grill, so it resulted in me calling home and having my mom talk ...

I've been reflecting on the deaths I have experienced in my life.  Death, and the grief that follows, is an isolating experience. Even though others are experiencing the same loss, even they seem like outsiders.  They had a different  relationship with that person.  And, their loss looks and feels different.  Not only was their relationship different, but their personality and the way they individually grieve is different.  It is in the midst of this difficult time that the world feels completely other.  While you feel like things will never be the same, the world and all your friends continue on, as if this life altering event doesn't even stretch to touch the confines of their life. Then time goes on, we grieve, we heal, and we "get on" with our lives.  Sometimes that takes a couple months, sometimes a few years. But, if you're like me, you never forget.  I still remember very distinctly those experiences of loss, those moments, those f...

Dear Jamaica Plain, Leaving you feels like the bittersweet moment of college graduation.  There's the excitement to move onto the next thing, but also the sadness of leaving a place that has become so dear.  The beginning of my time in Boston was a rough one, but you were always there for me.  Your people were kind and friendly.  Your green space, plentiful.  Your bars were homey and, most definitely, one of a kind.  You gave me the city, but you also gave me the suburbs - all in one.  You provided me with some of the dearest running friends.  You gave me a quiet place to pray, that was unlocked throughout the day.  You gave me the Turkey & Brie sandwich.  The Eliot School House where I played soccer with the ladies of 7P for my first birthday that I celebrated in Boston.  My little spot at the Pond where I would read for hours during the summers. I remember the day I fell in love with you.  I had already accepted the...

"Thirty, flirty, and thriving..."  The wish that Jenna uttered on her "disastrous" 13th birthday in 13 Going on 30  ...and the wish that came true when some magic dust flutters onto her head... (Shout out to my OLHC girls who watched that movie a million times with me). There was something magical (even without the magic dust) about the idea of being 30 when I was younger.  It was the age when I was supposed to have life figured out - an illustrious career, a man I love, friends who have been with me on the journey for years.  But now, as I am only a few short months away from my 30th birthday, I feel like all of my original hopes and dreams are no where close to being realized, and I am left wondering, "Where's my fairy tale ending?" While in the eyes of the world, I may have achieved success - I am after all a Senior Project Manager/Producer for a Video Marketing Agency at the age of 29, after quickly climbing the ladder in 3 short years. Yet, wh...

"Relax." A command so often given, Advice so often dispensed. "Drop the 'shoulds'" Isn't that in and of itself a "should"? My intensity, my drive is so often guided By this misguided direction, end game. The perfect Catholic. Who is she and what should she look like? How do I become her? How does she live and who is she friends with? What kinds of conversations does she have? Where does she spend her time? Relax. Relax?  But shouldn't I be driving, striving for perfection? An objective, a destiny, a destination. The saints, I'm mimicking. There are only so many hours in a day Heaven seems forever away! Let me attain it, let me work for it, let me hustle, and bustle. Here I am a flurry of activity, so busy you can't see me. Does anyone see me? Lord, you know when I sit and stand When I run, when I pray, when I fast, when I work, when I go, go, go. It's all for you, Jesus.  I promise. It's got nothing ...

Fall train rides. Beautiful colors whirring past As the train horn blares Beware, here we come, I'm on my way! To and fro That's where you go All the while seeing the places you pass

"We're in a war, man!" Name that movie.  Anyone?  Well, you probably can't name it because it is such an innocuous and obscure line from Mulan.  Yes, the cartoon. For whatever reason, it has always stuck with me, and often comes up when I think of the spiritual life.  It captures what I need to be reminded of sometimes.  We are in war!  This war may not involve impressive martial arts skills.  Nor does it involve a bunch of cartoon characters breaking out into song.  But this war is for my soul and your soul.  It demands that we know who we are fighting and what we are fighting against.  It is only with this knowledge that we can choose our appropriate weapons.  My current battle ground: my life, my priorities, my time.  So quickly and so easily I find myself bowing to the pressure to stay at work for "just another hour."  Or cutting my prayer time short so I can finish a production schedule because "Jesus understand...

Have you ever been slacklining? If your answer is yes, keep reading.  If your answer is no, I instruct you to shut down your computer or electronic device, and make your way to the nearest park, find a group of people slacklining, and ask to give it a go.  It will change your life.  Okay, maybe that's an overreaching promise, but it will help you understand this post a little bit more. The first time I approached a slackline, I was terrified, but I wasn't going to let anyone else know my secret fear.  I bravely raised myself onto the line, began to extend my legs so I was standing, and then promptly tumbled off.  After a few more shoddy attempts, I eventually gave up on slacklining and regressed to playing with sidewalk chalk (true story).  It was a year before I had another opportunity to approach this "hippie" and "crunchy" activity. This time it was through the same friends that introduced me to the wonderful world of rock climbing.  The very ...

We are, indeed, in an age of disconnection.  But, please, do not let yourselves fall into the depths of despair, because there is hope. There is a cure!  (No thanks to modern medicine). Vulnerability . Yupp, I said it.  Vulnerability is the cure to disconnection. Unfortunately, vulnerability also sounds like the type of medicine you need to swallow with a spoon full of sugar Mary Poppins style. For so much of my life, I quaked (and sometimes still do) at the word "vulnerability."  It means putting myself out there, risking my image and reputation, being exposed without knowing how others will receive me, being "naked"... It means no longer holding the upper hand, no longer having control... If that's vulnerability, why would I ever want to be vulnerable? Because vulnerability is directly related to love.  You cannot love without vulnerability and you cannot be loved without vulnerability. Just look at the cross!  There is our Lord Jesus Chris...

Confession: I am a huge Anne of Green Gables fan.  Period.  I love the books.  I love the movies.  I have dreams of going to Prince Edward Island.  I hope that one day I will meet my Gilbert Blythe.  I am a huge fan! I don't know who of you out there is an Anne of Green Gables fan, but whether you profess a love for Anne or not, I am certain you at least have a desire for friendship.  (Or at least an appreciation for it). I am blessed with some amazing friends, and have had some great friends throughout my twenty-five plus years of existence.  Nevertheless, I still learn new things about friendship all the time.  Just today I learned about friendship from my life-long fictional friend Anne Shirley Blythe.  (Sorry, that was a spoiler.  Anne and Gilbert do eventually get married). A little back story for whomever may not be as familiar with the Anne of Green Gables  series.  Anne Shirley, an orphan girl, is inadvertent...

I think I have left you all in suspense long enough.  It is time to answer those questions: How do I get out of this funk?  How do I break free of the chains of a life that is monotonous and tedious?  How do I find mission and zeal in the midst of a routine? At first, when I found myself beginning to flounder in this "tediousness," I began to brandish a crucifix as my weapon, and at the start of the day with a victorious yelp claim the day for Jesus!  (In my mind, not aloud, definitely not out loud).  I would valiantly suffer through each task in the name of Jesus! I will make these phone calls for Jesus!  I will book these rooms for Jesus! I will deposit these checks for Jesus! I will do this task for Jesus! Though seemingly the stuff that movies are made of, this tactic soon became lackluster.  There seemed to be nothing truly heroic in the measly daily tasks I was accomplishing and the circles I seemed to be going in.  Where was my St....

Before I begin, I must sincerely apologize to my readers and my supporters.  I have lacked faithfulness and fidelity to this blog, but I assure you my zeal for the mission has not waned in the least.  Rather, my zeal for the mission has only grown leaps and bounds, especially ever since my tenure with FOCUS officially ended in August 2014.  The mission lives on, and I aspire to live out this mission-- "to know Christ Jesus and to fulfill his Great Commission by first living and then communicating the fullness of life within the family of God, the Church"--every day. If I succeed, is a whole "nother" thing. But zeal seems to contradict the title of this blog post, doesn't it?  In fact, I would say that the "tediousness of life" is the antithesis of zeal, passion, and mission. (Feel free to argue with me). Cardinal Ratzinger, before he was Pope Benedict, once wrote, "The deepest poverty is the inability of joy, the tediousness of a life considere...

The lights were dimmed.  The candles lit.  The evening was brisk.  The smell of fall filled your nose.  Halloween approached.  As students were preparing for the upcoming All Hallow's Eve, a few decided to celebrate in a slightly different fashion with us, by stepping back to the year 303AD... The women as they entered the year 303AD As the twenty women gathered in the basement of Immaculate Conception Church, we handed them a character card, a prop, and some simple instructions--they were to discover who killed who at this Martyr Mystery Party!  It was a night to die for!  As they crossed the threshold from the hallway into the Gathering Room, the women entered into a different time--a time of Christian persecution, a time of martyrs, and a time of the Roman Empire... Stepping into character, the women gathered around the "concession stand" of a Roman arena, where the poor and rich a like would gather for gladiators and lion feastings!  ...

At a recent Upper Room, I had the privilege of casting the vision of FOCUS's Apostolate.  At the heart of our ministry lies a very simple pattern--win, build, send--that is accomplished in the hopes of Spiritual Multiplication.  Now I realize that I just threw a lot of FOCUS jargon at you, but allow me to explain... Upper Room - a gathering of FOCUS student leaders (individuals who have committed to running Bible Studies and leading other students), where the missionaries take time to get everyone on the same page with the mission Casting Vision  - the art of conveying to people why we do what we do FOCUS's Apostolate  - our mission of knowing Christ Jesus and fulfilling the Great Commission by first living and then communicating the fulness of life within the family of God the Church by inviting college students into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and His Church, inspiring and equipping them for a lifetime of Christ centered evangelization, disciples...

You know the Missionaries are coming when you see four cars with out-of-state plates parked in a row!  Watch out, we might be coming for you next! My car (PA Plates), Steven's car (Arizona plates), Danielle's car (New Hampshire plates), Kevin's car (Minnesota plates)

While those five little words--"seek and ye shall find"--should probably draw to mind the Bible verse Matthew 7:7 (Ask, and it will be given you, seek, and you will find, etc.), the first thing that comes to mind is Ella Fitzgerald's "Someone to Watch Over Me."  If someone simply says, "Seek and ye shall find" automatically I hear the soft piano and the soothing pulsation of Ella's voice flowing between the words.  I hear her emphasize "seek" and "ye" and I begin to drift into the following lyrics, "So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind."  And the song continues to play in my head... Needless to say, every time someone at FOCUS's recent SEEK Conference in Orlando, FL, mentioned Matthew 7:7, and began to read, "seek and ye shall find," my mind had gone down the river of musical lyrics, not stopping until the song had ended.  (At which time I was completely lost as to what the actual...

This, my dear friends, is the parable that came to mind when I was discerning joining FOCUS Staff.  Now here I am jumping into holes with students...

Two and a half weeks ago, I embarked on one of the craziest adventures of my life.  I boarded a plane with a fellow FOCUS Team Director, Laura Scharmer, as we made our way to Rome, Italy, via Moscow, Russia.  No, this was not simply a pleasure trip, or what Southwest Airlines calls "Wanna Get Away" sojourn.  Rather, Curtis Martin, founder and president of the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, invited the Team Directors from across the country to join him for the last week of the Synod of Bishops on the New Evangelization at the Vatican, to pray, to fast, and to witness an important meeting of Bishops. Though we did not get to actually play in the game (metaphorically), we had amazing seats!  Sitting practically front row, we had the distinct honor and privilege of meeting with, dining with, and talking to a number of Bishops, Archbishops, and Cardinals.  They shared with us their insights on the Synod. Their thoughts on the state of the Church. ...

When I was a wee little thing, I was as shy as could be!  (I still can be incredibly shy at times).  One way in which my shyness would manifest itself was in a great dislike of talking on the phone (mainly because there was no way I could hide behind my mother's leg on the phone and have her talk for me). It was simply me and the other person on the other end of the line...no barrier, no blockade, just the two of us. (No Will Smith reference intended). As I grew out of my shyness, I still clung onto this dislike of speaking on the telephone.  In high school over the summer months, friends would celebrate when they held me on the line for more than a half hour!  One day, a friend was actually able to keep me on the phone for a whole hour!  That hour long conversation remained my record for longest phone conversation until this year actually. Despite this aversion to phone conversations, I have found myself practically with one ear glued to my dumb phone (opp...